Affirming our kids with God's loving truth
The world is full of noise and voices; some are good and helpful. Often, however, these voices are contrary to the Father’s loving message and can be stumbling blocks to growing in holiness. When it comes to our children, this is an important thing to recognize because experts tell us that for every negative message we hear, it takes five or more positive messages to undo the negative. Since silencing every noise of the world isn’t possible, our best strategy is to focus on the ways we affirm, encourage and build our children up with God’s loving truth. Here are a few ideas to help with this important work.
The world is full of noise and voices; some are good and helpful. Often, however, these voices are contrary to the Father’s loving message and can be stumbling blocks to growing in holiness. When it comes to our children, this is an important thing to recognize because experts tell us that for every negative message we hear, it takes five or more positive messages to undo the negative. Since silencing every noise of the world isn’t possible, our best strategy is to focus on the ways we affirm, encourage and build our children up with God’s loving truth. Here are a few ideas to help with this important work.
True value and identity
We are good and worthy of love not because of what we do but because of whose we are. Kids need to hear again and again that their abilities, struggles, talents and perceived shortcomings are gifts from the Father. They need to know he didn’t make a mistake because they can’t get an A in math or hit a perfect 3-pointer. They need to be reminded lovingly and often that we were created to do all the things the Lord has planned for us. In a “you can be anything you want to be” world, our message needs to be, “God created you and has a plan for you … so ask regularly what that is in prayer.”
Time equals value
It’s great to coach, cheer from the crowd and drive carpools, but make sure you couple that with the gift of one-on-one time. Taking a few minutes at breakfast or bedtime to point out ways you've seen them act like a disciple can go a long way. Comments such as, “I saw how kind you were when you played catch with your brother” or “I was proud of the way you supported your teammates even though you didn’t play as much as you wanted to” help them see you love and support them in the important things.
Honest and sincere
True love isn’t coated in sugar; not everything our kids do is “awesome.” Kids who are first string or first chair don’t get to heaven faster, and our kids don’t have to be the best at anything except using well the gifts and talents God gave them. Celebrate the ways our kids are growing in holiness through their words and actions. Help them understand how important it is to see themselves through the eyes of the Creator instead of the eyes of the world.
Simple
Kids don’t need a keynote address. A simple squeeze on the shoulder with a “I really enjoyed watching you sing or play or perform” hits hearts in a powerful way.
Glory
Every gift is from God and is given for us to share and bring glory to him. Before every game, play or concert, remind your children that this is a chance to use their gift to praise and recognize the giver of the gift. When we help them learn to “give the gift back to God,” the outcome is perfect every time. It can be as simple as, “Lord, thank you for Jason’s gift to play baseball. Please help him play today in a way that honors you.” That simple prayer puts the purpose in perspective.
Repeat
Put these steps on repeat … kids forget and the world intervenes. They can’t hear too many times that they are priceless in the eyes of the Father.
Sheri Wohlfert is a Catholic wife, mom, grandma, speaker and writer. Catch her blog at www.joyfulwords.org.
